Going Under the Knife

A conversation with my sister prompted this post.

Would you date someone who had gastric bypass surgery and was now normal weight? What about someone who had a nose job b/c he had a horrible nose? Are these two asking the same thing – or is there something inherently different between them?

My answer to both is yes, not just b/c I’m desperate but b/c hey, we all have “defects.” As people are quick to remind me, I am not perfect; I have my flaws and so will my potential spouse, and these don’t seem like really big flaws to me, in the grander scheme. If I think the guy is cute and I like everything else about it, then who cares if he once had more chins than Chinatown? I think I’d actually give him a lot of credit for trying to take charge of his health. I have a bigger issue w/the nose job guy b/c I see that as purely cosmetic. As I know from my discussions of masochism and self-mutilation w/my last professor, it’s not so obvious that cosmetic surgery is okay with Jewish law.

But my sister brought up the point about future progeny, i.e., what if they have the misfortune of inheriting his propensity towards largess or his Jewish schnoz? I still say, it’s hard enough to find a husband and worry about whether he goes to shul, is a kind person, and doesn’t carry the same genetic diseases as you – why introduce more limiting factors into the game? Besides kids will always have problems, no matter how great your spouse is.